How to build our Love Account by Dr. Munachi Uhuegbu 

           This month we are going to have  a reflection of our love life, our love story. Similarly to a bank account, our love account requires regular deposits and withdrawals, and its level indicates the strength of our relationships and emotional well-being. Consider our love account to be a reservoir for pleasant interactions, acts of generosity, and emotional connections. Each moment of affection, each word of encouragement, and every act of kindness contributes to this reservoir. In contrast, neglect, harsh words, and emotional isolation drain  this account. A love account  is  consistent with the definition offered by 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7;  love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud, it does not dishonour others, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it does not keep records of wrong, it does not delight in evil but rejoice with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves. 

              Dr. John Gottman, a well-known psychologist and relationship specialist. In his book “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work,” Gottman presents the concept of an emotional bank account. He explains that good relationships are founded on a foundation of positive encounters that outnumber negative interactions by at least 5 to 1. 

How to assess your love account. 

This idea is known as the “magic ratio,” Gottman. In healthy relationships, the positive exchange rate  should be a lot more than negative ones to keep the bond strong. 

Here’s an example to illustrate: Think about a friend named Sandra. You had a small argument about weekend date, which wasn’t a nice experience. To help keep your friendship with Sandra healthy, here are five positive ways you can interact with her: 

1. Friendly Chat: Talk about something you both like, such as a TV show or sport, in a fun way. 

2. praise: Give Sandra a sincere praise about something you like about her,A meaningful lremark, a shared joke,such as her sense of humour or her new haircut. 

3. Help Out : Assist Sandra with a job or favour she needs help with, showing you care about her well-being. or even a simple act of service, such as making coffee in the morning, all help to build a strong love account. 

4. Spend Time Together with Sandra: Do something fun together, like taking a walk, watching a movie, or sharing a meal. 

5. Listen and Help: Be available for Sandra when she wants to talk or share her feelings about her day, and show that you care. To keep your relationship with Sandra healthy and strong, try to have more positive exchanges than negative ones. 

Consider how a couple deals with the challenges of everyday life.  

Arguments, misunderstandings, and unmet promises, on the other hand, will be removed from this account. 

Watch this video and tell me how healthy this couples love account is in the comment section. 

Tips and guidiance to build your love account. 

The answer is intentionality and consistency. It is about making a distinctive effort to invest in our relationships, even when life becomes hectic or hard. It’s about understanding that our love account is a living thing that demands attention, care, and nurturing. Dr. Barbara Fredrickson, a positive psychology researcher, has found that pleasant emotions are important for our overall well-being. In her book “Positivity,” Fredrickson describes how positive emotions increase our awareness, resilience, and promote stronger social bonds. These happy emotions serve as deposits into our love account, enhancing both our life and the lives of people around us. Philippians 4:8,

Finally brethren, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable- if a thing is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.And I add such things to action. 

Furthermore, the love account is not just for romantic relationships. It includes our interactions with family, friends, coworkers, and even strangers. Kindness, empathy, and understanding help to build a collective love account that has the potential to influence our communities and society as a whole. In a world that frequently feels divided and fragmented, maintaining our love account becomes even more important. It’s about creating a positive ripple effect, where each deposit we make has the potential to inspire others to follow suit. It is about understanding that our love account is not a finite resource, but rather an infinite reservoir that expands with each act of love and kindness. 

In conclusion, our love account reflects the love and attention we put into our relationships. It involves consistent pleasant contacts, acts of kindness, and emotional bonds. By being focused and consistent, we may keep our love account healthy and full, improving both our lives and the lives of people around us. Let us commit to building our love account one nice interaction at a time. Let us create a world in which love and kindness thrive, and our love account is always in surplus.